When someone you love leaves you for someone else, your initial reaction is fear, how will you survive without them financially and emotionally, spending years with someone who suddenly decides to go, leaving you drowning in all those emotions.
Where are you going to live ? And how are you going to get through it ? In those early days your focus is solely on them , from how could they do it ? why did they do it ? what are they doing now ? and who they are doing it with ? it’s almost an obsession wanting to know every detail of the betrayal , it’s mental torture trying to get clarity and answers that very rarely come.
The main reason that people struggle in letting go is because they want answers , truth , to dissect every detail of their relationship and find answers as to why their partner chose to be with someone else. Most feel that they wasted years of their life with someone that ended it in an abrupt way by being deceitful.
The Sooner you shift your focus from them to you , the easier your life will become
Putting all your energies into rebuilding your life is when the real transformation begins
Look at the relationship for how it really was , take off those rose tinted glasses , pull it apart and realise how broken it really was.
How lonely and neglected you felt.
Whilst they was probably busy with work or social activities , hobbies and interests , you was the one at home waiting for them ?
Once you start pulling the relationship apart , you will feel easier about letting it go … And I know the pain feels like it will never end , but it will & it does.
The guilt & regrets will go , when you get days of ” Maybe I should have done this, and done that ” , be aware that looking back to “what ifs” are not going to change the situation , turn those what ifs to things you can change , which starts with your mindset …
Yes you will face many challenges in the process of letting go , you will go through many sleepless nights knowing that they are in the arms of someone else , which I know for many can make them feel and be physically sick, as they crawl out of bed wondering how they will get through another day ?
So if you are struggling … Just for today remember this … you are much more than just your broken heart .. This journey starts with you.
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