I was explaining to someone the other day how difficult Christmas is when you are going through relationship collapse. Purely because its the time of year when everyone is meant to be happy, and everywhere you turn is couples in love.

And here at Christmas you find yourself going down memory lane.

I stumbled over an old Christmas card as I was looking through my Christmas decorations… it forced me to remember.

Something magical happens when you open the memory box and remember them, and certain songs remind you of another time, another place, a time of when you felt secure in your relationship and genuinely happy. Its fine opening that memory box from time to time , its healthy to look at a time of when you felt loved. ( particularly if they left you for someone else ), because no doubt about it your biggest question is

” did they ever love me , or was it all a lie ” ?

Its the time of year for everyone to reflect , Christmas pulls at peoples emotions , exes start coming out of the woodwork sending text messages ” just wondering how you are” ? As you start reading into things that they want you back, or possibly split up with their latest love interest & lonely. Those text messages could mean a 100 things, but take my advice .. don’t respond, resist the urge of falling into the trap, Christmas is emotionally charged & full of sentiment.

And I know it hurts when you are trying to let go of someone but you cant, because secretly you are waiting for the impossible to happen, and you may miss each other, but some relationships are just not meant to be.

I think its far healthier to look at things as they really are, did they let you down ? , lie to you ? Cheat on you ? Disrespected you ?, well there you are , that’s how they felt about you. This does mean there is something wrong with you, it means you was with someone who didn’t value you.

So if you are opening that memory box this Christmas be sure to remember that honesty, respect and loyalty are an essential ingredient to a loving relationship. And that some people can only be loved from a distance … there comes a time when you have to stop trying to figure out why & start focusing on what’s next …