When we lose what we had we have that overwhelming sense of loss and that feeling that our lives will never be the same again. We remember feeling happy and loved and secure, and then suddenly that has been replaced with sadness, feeling abandoned and insecure. Its hard to pick yourself up when you feel like that ! After my divorce i felt my whole life contracting and went into survival mode, working and taking care of my children. I think i stayed in that survival mode for 20 years.
When I have felt hopeless about my future, which I have on numerous occasions it has been being a single parent that has kept me in that “don’t give up mode ” , after all, as parents we have a responsibility to our children and I really wanted to be the best parent as i could be, not perfect, but present.
Mind set has always been my strength , its amazing how the brain works, if we feed it with dark critical self talk it will gives us more of those miserable thoughts, where as if we feed it with positive thoughts and hopes of a brighter tomorrow, that will lighten our mood and put a spring in our step with hope.
So here’s the thing about loss, it is the absence of something that once existed, its 100% natural to grieve the loss of a marriage or relationship , but we must never give up on the relationship that we have with ourselves. We must get through those dark days, until suddenly miraculously you will start to see possibilities , hope. A new conversation with someone can change your life, maybe a new home will open new doors for you and everything stars to change.
So never doubt that things will get better it just takes time and new way of looking at things .