loneliness can make people make some major mistakes when it comes to dating, I was talking to a 62 year old woman this week, her husband left her out of the blue last year for a younger woman, not unusual, the majority of men that have affairs will generally do it with a younger woman.
They had been together for 13 years it was a second marriage , interestingly she had an affair with him and he left his wife and three kids for her, over 13 years she had gone through the turmoil of his guilt for leaving his family, been ostracised by his daughters , never included in any family events and generally often wondered if his wife had not found out about the affair and threw him out, if he would have left willingly to be with her. She felt they were “thrown” together because of the circumstances.
I totally understand this concept, and believe it, most affairs normally have a sell by date, and will normally fade with time, a little escapism and diversion for people to stop them feeling trapped. The only time the shit hits the fan , is when feelings become involved and then people get themselves into the murky waters of deceit and lies. And I don’t believe for one minute that it can be a good place to be . But in this instance, for 13 years she wondered if he loved her, and as it turns out, he clearly didn’t and was probably always searching.
So through tears and heartache she decides to put her profile on the internet , and is flattered by all the male attention she is getting, feeling alive and vibrant again dating at-least 2/3 men a week, and having sex with them too. This is a normal reaction for some women that have been betrayed. They are seeking admiration and the desire to feel wanted and sexy again, and will go to any lengths to get that. And of-course there are plenty of men that will go for this easy option and will get sex for as little as a bottle of wine and a meal. Nothing wrong with two consenting adults having a bit of fun !
Ebbing & flowing in the disappointment is part of this Journey
Most things after time will be okay eventually, but never rush out to find a replacement whilst going through heartache , sometimes you will hold on really hard and realise you have no choice but to let go.
Acceptance that it’s really over takes time. And sometimes when you think life is kicking you in the ass it is actually just moving you somewhere else.
Remember there is a purpose to every failed relationship, the purpose isn’t to encourage you to lower your expectations and just settle, its to inspire you to learn from your mistakes and raise your standards.